Not knowing

All this time not knowing
Where you are, where you're going

Hidden mostly, sometimes showing
Shining little, softly glowing

Behind the clouds that go on snowing
Swept off by wind that's ever blowing

And time keeps stretching, somehow slowing
Dull and dreary, nothing growing

But like the river ever flowing
Still we wait in hope, unknowing

Finding February

February feels odd to me this year. I'm not sure why. I mean, perhaps it's related to my previous post about the sudden realization of change... but maybe it's also because I've just never really thought about it. 

This second month of the year doesn't really have a lot going for it you know. No big holidays. No change of season. And it's that oddly short month on the calendar. How many days again? 28? Wait, is it a leap year? How many would it have in a leap year again? Who decided on that system anyways?? It's still winter in February but it's not really known for its winteriness...at least not here. It's just chilly and wet and a short stopping off point on the way to spring I guess. 

We had sun this week though. And it's been uncharacteristically warm, though still cold enough to wear my new fuzzy boots and red mittens. It was rather pleasant, if I do say so myself. I was out walking and I was feeling sorry for this morose short month. The brief moment of sunshine made me realize that its rather grey most the time. Everything has a dull tone. Grey skies, grey-brown trees, the dead leaves have lost their luster, even the grass is rather dull. Winter has seeped into the heart and soul of the earth and it's just waiting for the uplifting fragrance of spring. 

And so I decided to capture this sunshine and search for the beauty I know is out there, the beauty that makes February, well, February.  

Carving out time

So. Halloween is tomorrow.  

Costumes. 

Candy. 

Ghosts.

Leaves.

Darkness.

Fireworks.

Pumpkins. 

Did you say pumpkins? I love pumpkins. I like their cheery orange colour; I like their different shapes and sizes; I like their prickly stems and their earthy pumpkin smell. 

I like carving pumpkins. There is nothing quite like the orange, squishy, seed-filled guts of a good pumpkin. This year Janelle and I carved a rather delightful image of Wall-E into our chosen specimen, with the help of our little nephew.

What a joy it is to embrace the little traditions of fall. To spend time scraping out the inside of a fruit or telling a 2-year old a story about a robot. Time. What a gift. Autumn is one of the seasons that really shows me how fast time goes. 

Change is so visible in this season. Leaves change colours. The wind strips them from the trees. The clouds become constant companions. The sun comes up later and sets sooner. It's around this time of year we start saying, "I can't believe it's almost Christmas! Where did the time go!"

And yet, as time flies by us, we are still blessed with little moments whether it be pumpkin carving, crunching through leaves on a walk, watching fireworks or starting up the first fire of the season. 

"Life Means so Much" as Chris Rice puts it. Are we missing out on the gift?

Snow Daze

So winter finally hit us up here in the North. That's right, us Southwest coast people finally got a taste of real Canadian winter for the first time this year and I have to say, I enjoyed every minute of it! Starting with a late night snow on Friday the 13 followed by a dump of snow on Sunday night all the way through to the freezing rain on Friday, it was definitely a cold, icy week for the Fraser Valley!

Snow days are a time for hot chocolate and tea, for snowball fights and sledding, for movies and wrapping up in a blanket reading. I love just walking in the snow, breathing the crisp air or sitting in the silence watching the flakes drift by or falling down into a big pile of snow and relaxing into it's cool embrace. Snow is special around here and I like it that way. Ya I complain when we NEVER get any snow and it's just wet rainy Christmases year after year but really, it just makes surprises like last week so much better! Our rare snow days are unique times of the year that bring out the kid in us all. And for all you out there who frown at the delays, who stress over the slick streets, who grouch about missing appointments and school and work, I'd just like to suggest that maybe you needed the break; that maybe a snow day is good for you because it forces you to realize that those things aren't as important as we think they are; that maybe we have placed too much emphasis on ordering our lives just perfectly and making sure everything is set out exactly how it has to be rather than realizing that NOTHING in life is sure except God and so we mightaswell stop trying to control it all!

I know this post comes a bit late as the snow week is over, the snow dripping away from the rooftops and running down the gutters into drains but the joy of it is still with me. I'll miss the happy week we just had but I never expected it to stay. I don't wish every day was a snow day but how I do love the days that are!

Against all odds...

Tonight I shall brave the cold Wyoming darkness, defy the obnoxious glare of the full moon and drag my friends out with me as well! We are going to watch the Perseids Meteor shower against all odds if I have anything to say about it! The meteor shower happens every year (go figure!) from late July to late August, peaking TONIGHT...unless you are in Europe...then I think it's tomorrow...still a little fuzzy on that. Of course, the full moon also coincides with this fabulous peakage of the shower...makes things a little difficult and apparently its ultra fabulous glow is really going to make the show less than spectacular yet I am still determined to see this through. Kaitlyn and I have been planning and anticipating this for MONTHS. (If you will remember my class with Dr. Lisle - he told us about it way back then and we put a reminder in Kaitlyn's phone to make sure we'd see it! See Inner Woman #14 for more detail about Dr. Lisle's class.)

Anyways, not sure exactly when we are going to attempt this little shindig, perhaps sooner before the moon reaches the zenith (look at me and my fab words hehe) or perhaps we shall get up SUPER early after it is lower in the sky. We shall see but MARK MY WORDS, I will see this meteor shower!

I'll let ya know how it all goes!

For Just a Moment

For just a moment, I thought I saw the change arriving

I thought things would be different

For just a moment, I saw the light dawning

All was new and alive and lovely

For just a moment, the air sparkled with anticipation

The melody of birdsong was heard on the breeze

For just a moment, there was warmth

Bright smiles and laughter from all

For just a moment, I thought...Spring had arrived

Campus, April 22

But not yet – for the snow has fallen again

Not yet – for the cold has set in once more

Not yet – for the frozen ground resists new growth

Not yet – for Winter has yet to surrender his last grasping tentacles,

by sheer stubbornness holding the world in submission

Campus, April 25

All in good time, Spring flowers will persevere through the snow

All in good time, Spring sunshine will rebuke the biting wind

All in good time, Spring will have victory

For now, it is still Winter

For now, I must wait

For now, it's okay...for now...

Encore

So I thought, perhaps spring was coming. After a week of warmish weather, rain and slight flurries, by the weekend the grass was exposed in places for the first time since November! It was fabulous. However, all those bright hopes were dashed, starting last night. Woke up this morning to a nice thick layer of new snow over everything. Granted, the temperature is hovering around zero (32 Fahrenheit) so there is the steady beat of dripping everywhere and tufts of snow continually dropping off the cloaked tree branches. Yet it just puts me in the mood of winter all over again. It seems as though this white world of Jackson Hole was never green and will never be that way again. How I ache for flowers and spring birds chirping in the morning; for warm sunlight on bare arms and the fresh smell of dew on newly sprouted grass. I don't suppose I could live here for life - I am in love with the seasons - each in its due time and for its due length.

Find your inner woman 7: the Eskimo!!

Woke up this morning to - 36 degree weather. It hurt to breath. I don't think I have ever seen that temperature on a thermometer before (mind you this wasn't a real thermometer either, just my computer, but hey you know what I mean). The weather has been so amazingly beautiful but all this lack of cloud has given us temperatures of like, negative a million, as I commonly say and I don't really know how I feel about it.

Lish being cheerful in negative a million degrees

With this freezing cold weather, I have noticed that the bunkhouse doesn't really seem to warm up. The last week, unless we keep the heater on full blast at all times, we don't actually get warm. A few minutes after it turns off...I'm cold again. Plus, it doesn't help that we have to have a fan on up here so that the rest of the place can actually get some heat. (It's kinda a weird feeling always being a little chilled indoors...reminds me of home. hehe)

Sunrise on the mountains - right outside my door!

 Another fun thing with this frigid weather is the ice ("ice!?!? you mean like snow...and igloos...and penguins and ICE!?!?!"). Yes ice. I mean, walking around isn't bad because we just have hard-packed snow but all the fabulous icicles of death hanging from every eave, our nice, shiny icewall outside the door (which keeps the dorm quite nicely refrigerated) and the skating rink on the driveway are all just great benefits of the cold. Moreover, today, we have a nice sheet of ice on the INSIDE window of our door...and frostiness on the INSIDE handle and around the INSIDE edge...I'm thinking "Day After Tomorrow"...

Icicles off the bunkhouse

But, really we are all enjoying it. Everything is so beautiful and it sure beats Abby rain 24/7. We just bundle up like Eskimos (I even brought a blanket to class it was so cold), gather around the wood stoves, and drink lots of hot chocolate and coffee. The guys have been amusing themselves by throwing pitchers of water into the air and watching it freeze into a crystalline cloud of vapour.

Me being all Eskimo-y

Today, for my PCMA, we got to spend two hours out in this weather shoveling Mt. Everest off a driveway for someone people in our church. It was FREEZING at first, but really, I think we all enjoyed it. It felt good to get out, work hard and help some people rather than spend the hours indoors baking like we have for the past two weeks - not that that wasn't a blast as well. So I feel quite like an Eskimo these days, living in this land of ice and snow and frigid temperatures. I think I'm becoming quite accustomed to it as well, not that I want to move to the Yukon or anything, but it's a nice change from the winters of my childhood. :)

Find your inner woman 6: the Hockey player!

Okay, so it wasn't really hockey but, close enough! Last night, after a day of snowboarding, we played broom ball for four hours. Basically it is ice hockey...without skates and with brooms instead of sticks. SO AWESOME! I didn't play last week as I was too tired but it was soooo much fun and I'm so glad I played last night (even though I am SO sore right now - it was totally worth it).

At first, I was like really terrible and awkward. I didn't really know what to do because there were so many people around, like probs 20 people on each team at least and so I kinda just stood and "played" middle pretty much failing at ever hitting the ball. Then Cort made the excellent point that I should uh, turn the broom and actually hit it with the broad side rather than the tip so.... things started getting easier when I actually concentrated on the position of my broom.

As the game went on, I got more into it...perhaps a little too much into it. I fell a whole lot and I've got the bruises to prove it but really, they just prove that I was trying hard and actually getting in there. I stayed playing middle for most the game, checking people and making interceptions. Then I played some defense when we started really losing (plus by this time we had lost like 5 players - Stephen got a concussion, Lish hurt her knee, Nick had to leave early, Tim got cold, and Teresa had left) so then there was even more chaos and then Josh S. pulled my hair...apparently trying to pull on my tassel so I whacked him with my broom and Danilo and I had a little international rivalry going on...until he got switched to my team.

I played offense for the last bit, not very useful by this time as I was exhausted and it hurt to move. (I found out there was 45minutes left and I was like...ughhhhhh, can I just sit here and swing my broom???? but I didn't.) Then, coolest moment ever! I happened to just be positioned in the right place when Cort took a shot, missed and I passed it to Derrick who shot it and SCORED!!! It was perfect! and it tied the game and ended it too as we were out of time. So great ending with a tie game.

Funny note, as we were gathering the stuff, the lights went out (only stay on 'til 10) so we had to make our way back to the cars in pitch blackness as our eyes slowly adjusted. That was fun. Oh, and by this time it was like -18 degrees and we finally started feeling the cold cuz we weren't running around and it was FREEZING!

Anyways, I hadn't done a "Find your inner woman" in awhile so I figured it was high time. Basically I had a blast and I figure my Canadian blood must have been proving itself because I've never been very good at hockey...

And I think there are even some parallels to my spiritual walk here (kinda random but you see these things everywhere when you're in Bible school haha). I'm often nervous and unsure of myself around other outgoing Christians who seem so on fire for God, going on missions, serving others, volunteering and it is really hard for me to find "my place" but really, I don't think there is really a "place" I need to find. God can use me anywhere if I just get in there and work my best for His glory. Sometimes I will fall down or miss the goal but He can always make the most of every swing of my broom and sometimes, I'll be in the right place at the right time and finally realize that God had been moving me all along for just such a time as this.