Everyone wants a piece

Just a few minutes ago I opened my email to a whole list of promotions all begging me to use up the last of my money on their products, promising that they had that perfect item that would complete my list of Christmas gifts.

They all want a piece of me this Christmas. In our materialistic, consumer-based society, it seems like everyone wants a piece! The stores want our money, our jobs want as much work as they can get - giving the least amount of holiday time possible, our friends and family want our time, the charities want our donations and volunteer hours, the special shows and concerts want our attendance, and the cameras want our smiles. 

Sometimes it feels like we aren't just doing the consuming, we ourselves are, in fact, being consumed by this holiday season. Piece by piece by piece. 

And yet, it's "the most wonderful time of the year"! The time of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love. Funny that, our greatest desires during this season are usually never realized. Our hopes for a peaceful, joyful celebration surrounded by those we love, celebrating the greatest gift of all, usually go unmet. We have spent so much time consuming and being consumed, that when it all comes down to it, we have nothing left. 

Everyone around us wants a piece, but really... what we all want more is peace. Something we can't get from each other or even ourselves. We ache for that great hope of Christ's return and we pray that we will be filled with joy and love from above. 

At least I hope we do. I hope we stop and let go a little bit this season. Don't be consumed by the holiday, but rather, be filled.

For "every good thing and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation of shifting shadow" (James 1:17). 

Carving out time

So. Halloween is tomorrow.  

Costumes. 

Candy. 

Ghosts.

Leaves.

Darkness.

Fireworks.

Pumpkins. 

Did you say pumpkins? I love pumpkins. I like their cheery orange colour; I like their different shapes and sizes; I like their prickly stems and their earthy pumpkin smell. 

I like carving pumpkins. There is nothing quite like the orange, squishy, seed-filled guts of a good pumpkin. This year Janelle and I carved a rather delightful image of Wall-E into our chosen specimen, with the help of our little nephew.

What a joy it is to embrace the little traditions of fall. To spend time scraping out the inside of a fruit or telling a 2-year old a story about a robot. Time. What a gift. Autumn is one of the seasons that really shows me how fast time goes. 

Change is so visible in this season. Leaves change colours. The wind strips them from the trees. The clouds become constant companions. The sun comes up later and sets sooner. It's around this time of year we start saying, "I can't believe it's almost Christmas! Where did the time go!"

And yet, as time flies by us, we are still blessed with little moments whether it be pumpkin carving, crunching through leaves on a walk, watching fireworks or starting up the first fire of the season. 

"Life Means so Much" as Chris Rice puts it. Are we missing out on the gift?

Thursday Smiles

I've always felt that Thursday is a yucky day. I don't know why but it's always been distasteful in my head. Maybe it started back when I had a paper route and I really didn't look forward to the looming doom of walking the streets for 2 hours to make a penny every Thursday...or maybe because tests are usually Fridays so that means studying on Thursday nights...or maybe just because it's SO close to Friday yet...not Friday. or MAYBE it the name...it's just not pretty word: "Thursday"...whatever the case, I have decided to make Thursdays not so distasteful to me by starting this weekly post. Each Thursday, I shall post about the things that have made me smile that day...or I suppose that week if I am having a particularly lousy Thursday...We shall see if this will even go beyond this week as I have lately been rather pathetic at keeping up with this blog. Sooooo for my very first Thursday smiles...

1. teeny tiny molten pieces of metal exploding from the pipe my dad was slicing through...made me smile mostly because he asked if I wanted to do it and I screamed in surprise at the first spray of bright sparks. Also, because it looks like a shower of thousands of shooting stars.

2. the glow around street lamps at night, almost like the light that is escaping from the lamp is trying to stick to it, hesitant to leave

3. THIS necklace. It's old and broken but one of my very favourites. Each time I wear it, I'm reminded of our amazing trip to London and the little store in the train station that I almost didn't buy it from, but I'm so glad I did

4. this awesome ad for laundry soap that brightened my unwanted visit to the dentist

5. Gelato spoons in their happy rainbow of colours...nuff said :)

6. blasting music on the way home from work, singing in my own little world, wishing the drive were longer

Not pictured: the tiny sliver of moon that hung horizontally in the sky like a giant sleepy eye about to close, I like the moon, I like it a whole lot.

Maybe some of these items made you smile...maybe you've had different things today that brought a grin to your face but I hope you have enjoyed my attempt at brightening my Thursday. I think it worked :)

ten days

Ten days. I will be home in ten days.

I don't know if these tears that well up in my eyes come from joy and anticipation or if perhaps they testify to the ache in my heart when I think of leaving this place, these people, this task I have been blessed with. The past almost 18 months spent in Wyoming have impacted my life in so many ways and I hate to leave it. The last 5 1/2 months I have spent working on this book, serving at the school, have been such an incredible blessing. What a joy it has been to serve my Lord in this place. I have enjoyed each and every day with its specific trials and delights. I admit that I walk into this next chapter of life with much apprehension about my purpose. I never want to stop serving God, glorifying Him with all that I am and do and that's been so easy here. I know that I can do that wherever I am but as of yet, it's just not clear to me what I need to be doing upon my return. That's nerve-wracking to me, but really it's just another opportunity to trust my Father and His plans.

"And those who know Your name will put their trust in You,
For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You." (Psalm 9:10)

And so in these last ten days, the final pages of this amazing chapter God has written in my life, I will continue to serve, to love, to find joy in each moment, praising Him for this gift. I will let myself cry but I will not dwell in unhappiness. I will let my heart ache but with joy, storing up these memories as precious treasures. And I will look forward to the change, with a firm confidence in God's provision, with excitement for His plans for me, whatever they may be.

Ten days.

Prepare to Believe

It's impossible to really describe a walk through the creation museum. All the emotions you feel as you take step after step through it...it's hard to describe. It's like walking through our world and yet not - more like standing helplessly watching it revolve around you. It's like being a part of our history but not - more just watching from the outside. The exhibits come alive and it feels like it's you that is frozen in one state. I don't know how I appeared on the outside but my heart was in turmoil as the minutes turned to hours and I was drawn through the different scenes. Slowly I began to see. Slowly I began to understand. Slowly I saw our world, our history, through different eyes.

This is one of the very first exhibits you see and when I looked up at it and read the two quotes, it really hit me hard how pathetic we are. Descartes' famous line looks so weak next to God. With all our knowledge, our stacks of books, our years of searching, mankind is still so far from understanding. We are helpless to explain our purpose, our very existence. And yet we have such a high opinion of ourselves. We think we have accomplished so much. "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away" (James 4:14 emphasis added). In contrast God says"...I am the first and I am the last, and there is no God besides Me" (Isaiah 44:6); "...I, the Lord, am the maker of all things, stretching out the heavens by Myself, and spreading out the earth all alone" (Isaiah 44:24); I am the Lord, and there is no other; besides Me there is no God...that men may know from the rising to the setting of the sun that there is no one besides Me. I am the Lord, there is no other, the One forming light and creating darkness, causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the Lord who does all these" (Isaiah 45: 5-7)

The questions resonate deep inside because we've all asked at least on of them at some point in our lives. Taking the time to stand and take in the devastation that follows from the wrong starting point really helps you to appreciate the hope presented by the truth.

This exhibit displays some of the ways God brought His Word together

Satan has been attacking God's Word since the beginning, since the garden. He questions God's truthfulness, God's authority; he tries to get us to doubt and many times he succeeds. Just read through a few of the attacks on Scripture throughout history and you will be astounded at how the evil one has made this such a priority. After all, if we doubt God's Word, how can we trust the God who wrote it?

Reject God and our world falls apart. Walking through the hopelessness and destruction caused by a life in rebellion against God was depressing and humbling. We are truly, wandering in purposelessness without Christ.

After this dark room of sad reality, you leave our present world, walking through a dark tunnel filled with blinking stars and start right at the beginning...

Adam naming the animals in Eden

Pure innocent bliss. The garden is beautiful, the music is soothing. Everything is perfect, unique and good. I love this exhibit because it just shows the two amazing created beings, living in pure joy and yet above them the snake is watching, planning, waiting. Satan is never absent. He is ever ready to make a move and destroy.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:12)

The contrast from this quiet place of happiness and peace into the dark, bleak rooms following is an amazing portrayal of the devastation caused by sin. You begin to walk in a subtle descent as the perfect world dissolves into one of terror and violence. I shuddered inside as I walked past angry animals, Abel's murder, a room accosting me with images and sounds of fighting,and  bombs,and  floods, sickness, anger, jealousy...black black sin. My heart ached and I felt tears welling up.

And then the ark. The beautiful yet tragic story floods my heart with sadness but also hope. Righteous judgement is placed alongside unwarranted grace. The contrast in this miniature display is clear. I stood studying the tiny desperate people, startled at the detail added to each one. They were real human beings who rejected God and faced His wrath. And I can't help but think how it is really no different today. Are you on the ark, safe from destruction? Or clinging to the rocks, facing impending doom? 

And then...the new start. A new, clean world. The jagged mountains, a testimony of the past destruction, all around them, Noah and his family praise God among the flowers. What a devastating truth must have hit them as they walked out of the ark. The only human beings alive on the whole earth, nothing familiar, starting over by themselves.

Yet, it's sad to think that it wasn't long before mankind again rebelled collectively at Babel. And then imagine the grief of separation; the fear in all the confusion, the anger, the resentment, as man is scattered around the globe.

Will we ever get it?

The walk-thru exhibits end with a short but convicting film of the life of Christ, the Lamb of God, the Last Adam. And I walked out quiet. Contemplating all I had seen and read and felt. It was overwhelming. Not only amazingly well put together and detailed and beautiful, but if you let it, a walk through the museum will touch your heart and teach you truths in a way you've never known them before.

I really can't tell you any thing more. I mean, I could go on and on but really, you must visit this place yourself to understand. Even if you've grown up in a Christian home and think you know all the answers, all stories, all the true history...go. You will be glad you did. You will be encouraged in your faith, strengthened in the truth, and emboldened to share.

And even if you have never touched Bible, never stepped inside a church...go. Just check it out. What can it hurt? I must warn you though, if you go, prepare...to believe.

The sweet little things

I've been blessed again with another visit from family! My mom and her parents were able to visit for almost a week and what a week it was! I don't even know how to express how thankful I was to have them out here. We packed our days with fun things to do including a trip to Yellowstone, shopping around Jackson, and a trip to Idaho Falls. I have to say though, my favourite parts were just the simple things, the quiet moments that brought me back home:

coffee time in the morning, long and drawn out, chatting about anything and everything

laughing and teasing each other in the long car rides

walking in the sunshine by the river

snuggling with Mom while watching a movie

hanging at Elevated Grounds for hours, learning how to knit and purl

Mom finally seeing a moose, enjoying a few minutes just watching him

It's those little things that I really appreciated. The hours of just talking, as those who know me, is pretty much my favourite thing to do! This little taste of home was so fantastic, but also has me aching for the rest of my family and home life. Yet at the same time, I am so content to finish up my work here, still praising God for the opportunities I have here. Now, with only a little over 2 months left down here, I don't want to spend my time just waiting to go home. I want to enjoy each day, value each friendship, invest in my JHBC people and embrace the time I have in Wyoming.

I was thinking lately on how God is so sovereign and truly His plans are beyond me. You know, of all my siblings, I was always the "homebody". I was always the one who just loved chillin' at home, planning family outings, morning "talk time"; I was never planning on leaving for long and wanted to live the rest of my life in Abbotsford. Yet out of all of them, I'm the one God sent away for a year and a half! (Granted my younger sis has yet to graduate and may be off to Africa for all I know!) It astounds me again and again how much He has taught me and how I have grown in Him. Where before, I was all but terrified to leave home, my family and my comfort zone, now I have learned that my security is in Him, the one person that will NEVER leave me. So many things have changed in my life, so many more things will change in the coming months. Yet I know that wherever He sends me, I will always have Him and truly, He is enough - more than enough.

It's raining...stars

Okay so about last night (the meteor shower remember?), it was...AMAZING! Four of us went out, Cally and I sprawled in the middle of the field on a sleeping bag, warm and snuggly under a blanket while Kaitlyn and Jen just stood and watched because they weren't planning on staying long. Of course, this sight attracted more people and Josh and Kenton soon joined us. Everyone chatted away as we stared intently into the sky, awash in the rather beautiful glow of that (annoying but too amazing to really be angry about) full moon. Jen and I saw one little one which was nothing really to get too excited about (we of course did anyways!) and then she went to bed, followed shortly by Kailtyn. The rest of us stayed out, still talking, throwing jests around and laughing beaucoup. Finally, Josh got bored I guess and went in, ironically, not 2 minutes later the MOST AMAZING meteor I had EVER seen blazed through the North-western sky and Cally and I burst out into screams of awe/joy/excitement. Kenton, who was wandering over to the campfire saw it as well and expressed his amazement. Poor Josh :(

Cally and I ended up staying out there chatting for another hour and seeing a couple more really fantastic ones along with a spattering of less extraordinary shooting stars. One that we saw, the best one of the night blazed longer than any other and left behind a soft glow for a few seconds. Seriously, it was so cool seeing them all. I could not help but be reminded of the ever popular Psalm 19:

The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of His hands

So, though my toes were frozen stiff by the time we got in and the brilliance of the moon hid the majority of what we COULD have seen and not everyone stayed out for the party, it was a truly remarkable night which I am so glad I made the effort to see. I do believe I shall head out tonight for a bit to see if I am blessed with a few more.

Slaphappy

As I drag my sleepy self around this morning I can't help but think back in appreciation for the reason for my drowsy-ness. After a long exhausting day of working on the AM book, I had an amazing fun-filled evening that has me still smiling this morning.

After dinner a bunch of us went out to the volleyball court and played several exciting games. I love how volleyball out here can be both competitive and hilariously ridiculous...at the same time! What with the pickles (yes pickles, this isn't a typo) in the grass, the ball getting stuck in the tree, the collection of unique sounds each person makes (okay not everyone makes unique sounds but I make up for those who don't), the nicknames that spring up, and the matrix-like acrobatics that have us landing on our faces, the game never gets old! So after playing until it was too dark to see the ball and hit it effectively, we headed in for a game of Fish Bowl (a lively combination of catch phrase and gestures). Shortly after that ended, Caela and I had a little laughter fit in which we lay on our backs and laughed for like 5 minutes straight, I'm not even kidding. my abbs were SO sore, I could barely breathe!

But the night doesn't end there! The whole group wasn't interested in playing another round of Fish Bowl so most of them left and headed to bed. But seriously, it was only 11! the night was still young! So the Rohrers and I headed to the lodge and after snagging the usual from the bread walk-in (chocolate-chip M&M cookies...and Tim grabbed some brownie cookies too...which we decided tasted an awfully lot like...squished, round brownies...surprise surprise), we sat down to play a game of Rage. Just one game mind you because SOME people wanted to sleep...cough cough...Missy and Micaela...

Well, what started with one quick game turned into two, plus a couple bind rage rounds. Not only that but the games stretched on and on as we constantly collapsed with laughter, unable to breathe or concentrate. It got the point where everything was hilarious. I mean, I was already at the point earlier as I lay gasping on the floor with Caela but now all four of us were barely able to sit straight. And so everything elicited uproarious laughter from "is there people in there?" (which scared Missy half to death) which turned into a ridiculous horror story about a lactose intolerant man wearing a day pack and talking on the phone (which scared Missy even more) to "why is there so many comfy chairs at this table" to "why is the coffee still on, we're gonna burn the place down". The climax was our two rounds of blind rage in which everything was just plain ridiculous and we ended the night with an amusing search for light switches (as they are NEVER where you expect in this place!). I don't know that I have EVER laughed so much, for so long in my life.

As I climbed into bed at 1am, I was still smiling. Oh the joys of slaphappyness!

Find your inner woman 15: the writer...editor...organizy person...

So, as it is my third day into my new occupation, I figured it's about time I wrote about it. That's write (hehe)...I have begun work on THE BOOK. (We were discussing last night, to our sudden dissatisfied realization, that the book has no title...I mean, we can't just call it THE ANCIENT MAN BOOK - THAT would be sure to draw readers! Unfortunately however, the whole project has been unofficially named just that: the Ancient Man Project, sometimes abbreviated AM - which I've always found confusing because that immediately makes me think we are working on a morning project... HEY we could call Pastor Don the AMPM...the ancient man project manager...okay, maybe not... Sooooo until further notice, I will continue to refer to the...project...as the ancient man book.)

ANYWAYS, as I said, it is my third day in and I am having a blast. I mean, it's not exactly the kind of summer day in the sun most people envision as a party (there's no warm sand squishing between my toes, no cool water to float around in, no beach balls or sunscreen or rock and roll or barbequed hot dogs or chips) but the joy of working on something I am passionate about keeps me high all day. (And I still get to relax with friends in the sun... when we all aren't working, and I've already been out to the rodeo...watching Annie's little ones, and up to the lake...where we all got eaten by monster hordes of mosquitoes, and my chillaxin music makes my working hours basically a party and a half.) Really, I suppose a lot of people would not find this type of summer exactly to their liking but it has so far been a huge blessing to me. I am praising God each day for bringing me out here, for surrounding me with so many great people and entrusting me with a project in which I can serve Him the best I can.

Back to the project, I have started off with Pastor Don's (PD) stuff, basically the first section of the book which explains the premise of our research and the biblical base that we are basing our study off of. I've had the enjoyable challenge of figuring out how to organize, rewrite, and edit ten pages of fascinating work. What is my job in this project exactly? Well, it's hard to explain. See, I'm not really a researcher (though I did have to do a little research before writing the preface as...neither I or PDknew what exactly one writes in a preface) and I'm not exactly a writer (as I'm really just taking other people's work and reorganizing or editing it) but I'm not really an editor (because I'm doing way too much additional writing and research)... Basically, I do whatever comes along. If the writing is already done by a member of the team, I just go through it so it flows with everything else; if the writing needs to be done, I write from scratch; if we need more research, I engage in some Googling. The team calls me "wordsmith" which is an shorter, easier title to explain I suppose but seems a bit exaggerated (it refers to an expert in the use of words or a person skilled in the use of words) but I suppose with God guiding me, I can embrace this job of wordsmithing, knowing He is the ultimate Wordsmith out there!

I'm finding it both exhausting and exhilarating and I've only just started! It is a little daunting...okay, let me be completely honest...a LOT daunting, rather terrifying actually, to think of all the stuff that's got to be done but I don't really let myself do that. I'm taking this one step at a time because that's all I can do. I've almost finished my first run through of PD's work and I think it's given me a really good understanding of what he wants this book to look like. I'm really excited to see the rest and get started working it all together. I really think God is going to use this book for His purposes and I am thrilled to be a part of it.

Please continue to pray for me and the whole team as the summer progresses and the book comes together. We really want this to reflect the truth of Scripture and to be a great resource (and wake-up call) for Christians. It is evident that God is doing most the work here and we are all just blessed to be tools in His hands.

Until next time, I remain yours,
          
            Wordsmith, tool of the Master

Reflections: on leaving and returning and home

And wherever I wander - the one thing I've learned
It's to here - I will always....always return 

After two days of traveling, I have indeed returned to the Hole. The place this all started. The place that now has as a tight a hold on me as my hometown, a place I call home. But it's not as easy as that because I have another place that more surely is my home and will always be. But, well as people say, home is where the heart is, but what if your heart is in two places? 

I had the oddest feeling today as I drove away from my family, from BC, from Canada. For much of the trip, I felt that I was leaving, wandering away from home and all that I love. But then funnily I also felt that I was returning, coming home to a place just as beautiful and full of people that I love as well. 

I don't really know how to sort out all these things but I feel like Bryan Adam's song from Spirit applies oddly to two places for me. Of Abbotsford  and Jackson I can say that wherever I wander, I'm pretty sure I will always return to these places again sometime.

I hear the wind across the plain
A sound so strong - that calls my name
It's wild like the river - it's warm like the sun
Ya it's here - this is where I belong
Under the starry skies - where eagles have flown
This place is paradise - it's the place I call home
The moon on the mountains
The whisper through the trees
The waves on the water
Let nothing come between this and me 

Cuz everything I want - is everything that's here
And when when we're all together - there's nothing to fear
And wherever I wander - the one thing I've learned

It's to here, I will always return

 I feel my name called from both Wyoming and British Columbia, the starry skies, the moon on the mountains, the waves on the water - its a description of both my homes. And both of these places offer me things that I want, need and love. And so, I'm learning that my home can be more than one place, though my family will always have the strongest pull on me, there is Someone who has more say than all my feelings and callings and longings and that is my heavenly Father. He determines my home and location day-by-day. For now, it's back in Jackson and I praise Him for giving me the opportunity to return, and I will praise Him again when I head back...home.

And now...what?

So yesterday was the last day that Snow King is open for the season. We went for like 2 hours after church for one last hoorah (we got about 5 inches of fresh powder the night before so it was SO worth it). In looking back, I think I have gotten a lot better at boarding, a lot more confident, that's for sure. I mean, we were going out of bounds, I was going down black diamonds, went over jumps all the time, did the rail a bunch and even worked on carving regular (as I am goofy). It was so fun to be able to go whenever we wanted, to hang out with different people and make memories that I will have forever. It sure made all this eternal snow much more tolerable and purposeful. I mean, it's odd, now that the season is officially over (unless I get a free pass to Targhee or something), I am quite done with the snow. Now I just ache for spring! (unfortunately, it's snowing...again)

As I am prone to do these days, I see such application in life circumstances to spiritual life. This year at JHBC is such an amazing opportunity to do things that I love - study God's word, grow in my walk with Him and expand my 'dot' of knowledge, as my brother would say. Just like I had such easy access to the ski mountain and that allowed me to really get better at snowboarding, I have an unbelievable blessing of being in a place surrounded by Biblical teaching with a multitude of mature believers I can go to and amazing teaching each day. I am learning how to study; I am expanding my areas of knowledge and maturing in areas I thought I understood; I am growing in my own independent study of the Word and take a step of faith into those black diamonds of theology and doctrine; I'm getting to know Jesus better. Just like I took full advantage of having a ski resort practically in my back yard, I am striving to squeeze every ounce of what God has for me here into my brain. This year is such a blessing and I hope I do not fall into the habit of merely taking it for granted.

Unlike snowboarding which has its seasons, I pray that this season of spiritual growth in my life will continue. After all, though the coming of spring is an end to the ski season, it is also a the beginning of new life and growth on the earth hence, to continue the application - I know that my spiritual life will continue to flourish in different ways even as the seasons change.

A Wholly Holy Equipping

For class we had an assignment to write a devotion from Hebrews, something that we had learned or just really struck us this week. So I thought I'd share mine with you. 

Hebrews 13:20-21:

Now may the God of peace who brought up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, even Jesus our Lord, equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen

A more fitting benediction to Hebrews could not be stated. A book full of fearsome warnings, confusing controversies and strong exhortations, Hebrews can leave a believer floundering in despair. There is such an emphasis throughout the book on faith, endurance and spiritual maturity, I feel completely inadequate to the task set before me; the responsibilities of being a child of God. Do I have the ability to pay close enough attention to what I have heard, enough to keep from drifting away (2:1)? Can I be diligent enough to enter God's rest (4:11)? Do I have enough confidence to draw near to the “throne of grace, that [I] may receive mercy” (4:16)? Am I mature enough to discern good and evil (5:14)? Am I able to hold fast without wavering (10:23)? Do I have “faith to the preserving of the soul (10:39)? Do I have the endurance to run the race (12:1)? To most of these questions I cannot answer yes with certainty but for the knowledge that “it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God” (Galatians 2:20).

Yet of even more assurance, this benediction convinces me that God gives me the equipment to make it happen. It brings such encouragement to know that we have a powerful God who does not leave us out there alone for if so, no one could be saved. As Hebrews states: “without faith it is impossible to please Him” (11:6) and faith itself is a gift from God, nothing of my own efforts. To know that I can pray, ask and receive from Him, the ability to live rightly is a miracle. My God, who created the world, bestows us with blessings, loves us even as sinners, provides a way of salvation through the blood covenant and raising His Son from the dead is surely capable of providing me with the means to live a life pleasing to Him.

Not only is this God powerful enough to raise the dead, He even provided us with such a Shepherd as His Son. A Shepherd who is also our “high priest, holy, innocent, undefiled, separated from sinners and exalted above the heavens” (Hebrews 7:26). Indeed, I will gladly, whole-heartedly, thankfully be a sheep guided by this Shepherd and equipped by God. For in this position I have full assurance that through Jesus, I have “every good thing to do His will...that which is pleasing in His sight” (Hebrews 13:21). God working in me makes it possible for me to please Him and bring Him glory. How grateful I am that this is possible for I would surely fail on my own.

“To Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.”

Happy February 14th!!

So basically I have the best family EVER! I love my box of Valentine's treats and had to show you all what my talented sisters and Mom created for me!

Reflecting upon Valentine's Day I have discerned that there are really three main responses to this day celebrating love and relationships. One: joy, anticipation and excitement to share love, flowers, and chocolate. Two: Despair or pessimism or anxiety over the lack of love in your life or about love in general. And three: ignoring or mocking the holiday. I'm sure there are other responses but I have noticed these three most often in people through the years.

Though I have never really loved Valentine's Day, I appreciate the occasion which so many people use to actually tell people that they love them. But Jesus commands us to love one another - not just on Valentine's Day, birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries but always. Most people would recognize the passage in 1 Corinthians 13 as one of the most beautiful definitions of what love truly is. As many people have said before, love is not a feeling but an action! As Paul writes in Colossians, love binds all the rest of the characteristics of godly living together,


"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." - Colossians 3:12-14

We are called to more than just the feeling of affection towards other but to actions - service, selflessness, forgiveness, humility. This is what it means to love; this is how to show love, this is how to understand love. Jesus commands us to love each other as He loved us - which was to the death. His love was an action of sacrifice for all mankind. He gave His life away! How can we not show love for those around us as well!

For those of you who love Valentine's Day and all the lovey stuff and chocolate, thank you for sharing love with others, at least on this day - please don't put a time limit on it. For those of you who get anxious or pessimistic, see this as an opportunity to serve - everyday. For those of you who mock or ignore it, shame on you - love is a command, try it - a whole day devoted to it is an great opportunity.

And moreover, I encourage you all to do something special for someone tomorrow, and the next...and the next - out of love - when it's NOT Valentine's Day.

Find your inner woman 8: the Chef

So I was craving chicken cordon bleu and had this bright idea of how to get it...like actually the way I wanted it (aka my mom's recipe). So instead of asking Jared to make it, I just asked if I could make it one Friday for work day and they totally said yes! So we got all the ingredients and the big day arrived!

I started at 3:15 and wow...it's a good thing. I have never even MADE it before...I mean, like maybe once but to make it for around 40 people!?!?!? It was crazy. We had 72 pieces of chicken in 3 hotel pans. Then I hate to slice most the cheese, which took awhile and then we had fresh sliced ham, which took another while, and then I had to find enough cream of chicken soup...we didn't really have enough but I just added a bit more milk to make it go farther. I didn't realize when I started this whole that I would be basically in charge of the whole meal, but I had a blast. I was directing people here and there who came up asking for a job, got people working on Greek salad, getting the pasta ready, and fetching rolls (that's right, I actually called them rolls the whole time!). So by this time, it is about 4:30 and the chicken really needs to get in the oven. We sprinkle some bread crumbs on, pour some butter over it and in they go. (I have no idea if they are really going to turn out but I'm hoping for the best.)

Now over to the Greek salad. Lish had mixed up the dressing and her and a few people were working on cutting veggies. I showed them how big I wanted them, and how much etc and then we realized we had no cucumbers...problem. So we call Jared, who is out with a group of guys at the shooting range and he says he'll bring some at 5:25...5 minutes before dinner...

Next we have to figure out a dessert and I totally hadn't thought of anything and so we are all just sitting there thinking and I have the bright idea of a trifle...not really thinking it would work but it just so happens that we have 2 sheet cakes and enough whipped topping to make two for dessert (they turned out SO awesome!).

Finally, we are down to pretty much being done: waiting for the chicken, waiting for the cucumbers, testing the pasta. Everything was ready 15 minutes before dinner time...just waiting for the cucumbers. We set out all the dishes, get the chicken out (and it looks amazing and I am so excited) and then in walks Jared with the cucumbers. Three of us on the job and 3 minutes later, the salad is done as well. I have to say, I was feeling pretty good. I had had a blast and now, was hoping people would like it.

As people went through the line, I explained what it all was (many had never even heard of Greek salad!) and suggested putting the sauce on the pasta as that was how I liked it. Some people were a little skeptical - especially of the salad but everyone LOVED it! I was so happy to serve all these people something that they really enjoyed. I kept getting compliments until I was worried I was going to become a little prideful!

It was a fabulous evening and I can't thank all my helpers enough. Makes me wanna be a chef! ...but...I highly doubt that's gonna happen...

Ended the day off with broom ball and a movie - doesn't get much better than that!

Christmas Eve

What a blessed day this was. Started off a little unorthodox with my mother jumping on my bed waking me up. (Apparently since we do it to her every Christmas morning, it was only fair that she get to do it to us! lol) The morning was filled with preparation as we were having our big dinner today and had other things to do to prepare for Christmas tomorrow.

Christmas Eve service was amazing; Jeff as blunt as usual, whipping us all into line and into the right frame of mind. It will never cease to amaze me how many people show up for these services! We went to the earliest one, apparently the least attended and their were people there over half and hour early (before us who were 25 minutes early), we barely got a front parking spot, and the sanctuary filled to overflowing. Like seriously, did everyone just decide to come to that service or were these those, once-a-year Christians filling the pews. They sure didn't get a nice, easy, fluffy Christmas message that's for sure! I hope it really made people think about their reasons for even coming into a church at all. What do they hope to prove? What is our purpose for meeting together?

After the service we prepared dinner and had it on the table around 5. It was so cool to have all these people in our house, grandparents, cousins, little baby Jayden. It was a beautiful moment. Everyone was totally absorbed by everything Jayden did. It just seems like every time I see that little boy, I love him more. The evening was filled with cheer and joy as we exchanged gifts with Jordan and Vanessa.

I loved hearing all the oohs and ahhs over Jayden, the laughter of playful teasing, the joy of shared memories and just having so many happy voices in the house was so amazing. Watching Jayden open his first gifts was such a precious, adorable moment that I know we will all treasure forever. It's little moments like these that make Christmas such a fun time to look back on and reminisce.

Pie and coffee came later followed by a hilarious game of "Things" that brought out laughter, wrestling and wore us all out. The evening was so great. Dad of course topped it all off when he looked out the window and exclaimed, "Look, it's snowing!...somewhere in the world."

I look back on the evening, in these wee hours of Christmas morning 2010 and I realize that we could not have done any of this with out Christ. I mean, the whole purpose of Christmas is to remember his birth, it's a celebration of Emmanuel. But it is also a celebration of what He did for us and how that is reflected in our lives. It is a hard time right now for our family. A very different, difficult Christmas but God's work in our lives shines brilliantly in our fellowship and joy together. The fact that any of this is even possible is proof of the hope and grace that Christ has given us. How I pray I will learn that humility that He embodied. I can never thank Him enough.

Home, a little unorthodox, but I got here

Was rudely awakened this morning by some hungry crows thumping and knocking on the roof. Apparently people think it is oh so funny to dump their pita bread stuffs everywhere and in doing so attract a million birds to come to the feeding grounds and then since it is so BLISTERINGLY cold out there, the bread is solid rock so the dear old birds fly to the roof tops and smash it on the shingles and patter about trying to eat the stuff. It's a good thing I love being home, or I might have woken up ticked this morning.

By the way, sorry I have been gone so long if you were wondering where I've been. Here is the story since I last posted. Sorry, it's a little long.

I don't really know what to write. This homecoming, this past weekend was not at all what we had all envisioned: big welcoming party at SEATAC, going shopping at the Outlet mall, staying up late looking at pictures and sharing memories and just enjoying being home. God had other plans and though I see His hand of timing through it all, it is still hard to adjust - hard to even believe all the stuff that happened the past few days.

I guess I'll start with Thursday. I got news that Uncle Dave wasn't doing well and my family was driving up to Kelowna to be with the family. We changed my flight to fly into Kelowna and my dear friends at the collage gathered around me and we prayed. Friday morning, in class, I got the text: "Uncle Dave is with Jesus. Hallelujah!" and well, everything changes. I couldn't go back to class but had a nice quiet time with my dear friend Elisha. God totally sent her there for me and we could comfort each other and talk and it was okay. Since I couldn't be home with my family, there was no better place for me to be. I thank God again and again for putting with that group of people. They were so awesome and supportive.

Leaving school was hard. We drove off in a big caravan at about 2 and it's weird how I feel like I've left a piece of myself there and with those people. God is really doing stuff in our class and I miss them already. Hours later I get to Tatiana's house and stay the night with her, then we drive out at 8:30 the next morning to the Denver airport (that place is HUGE by the way and just SLIGHTLY intimidating...I admit, I almost threw up but I survived). Got on the plane at 12, got to Seattle at about 2ish, got on another plane at 3 (oh but before that I had to find the gate - had to TAKE A TRAIN!!! - I felt so independent and smart finding it all on my own but in reality, it wasn't hard. The airport people are quite talented at making stuff easy to find - thank goodness!).

So I got Kelowna at about 4:30pm but had to wait a hundred hours to get off the little plane (which Dad told me was so small that we were going to do a loop-de-loop before we landed...didn't happen but it was atrociously loud in there). Then I had to wait a million years to get my bag - BY MYSELF because we came from the US and had to go through customs which was another billion year long line-up. However that wasn't bad because as I'm standing in line all antsy I hear a whistle, look up and through the sliding door leading out of customs I see my siblings with balloons waving frantically and shouting. I wave back and as the doors slide shut everyone in line slowly turns and looks at me and I'm like..."hehe, my family..." and I can't help but smile. So that happens a few more times and then suddenly I hear this garbled, "Annaaaaleaaaa???!! Analeeeaa!!" and so on...and my brother is at the wall (which is like not a real wall) and he is on the floor trying to see me under it...and then he is at the crack saying my name and I can see their silhouettes through the wall but what am I supposed to do, just yell back with all these strangers in line who already think I'm a weirdo?? haha This one old lady is like "they sound pretty excited" (I'm thinking...well that's an understatement, they sound like crazies!!!) and I'm like, "I've been gone for awhile.."

So I finally get through customs and there they are! My sisses with balloons and an obscenely bright poster and my Mom and Dad, my brother, my cousins, the Swaans, my grandparents and the whole seen is so perfect, well as perfect as it could be in the situation. After much hugs and a few tears, I get to hug my beautiful nephew, and then I spot a Tim Hortons cup and have an immediate craving and I want to kiss the ground cuz there is really no place like Canada, people!

It was hard though because my homecoming was tempered with the news of Uncle Dave and I was so glad to be there to comfort my dear cousins and Auntie but could've talked for a year about all my stories and couldn't stop hugging people and smiling. It really was a joyous occasion because Uncle Dave is in such a better place, but it is so hard being back here you know. I had bursts of joy tempered with sadness and it was just a confusing mix of emotions that really leaves you quite exhausted.

So we drive home on Sunday and I talked the ENTIRE drive home. Most of you won't be surprised by this. It was the shortest 3 1/2 hour drive ever!

It is so amazing to be home, back in Abby. A few things have changed...and the cold was unexpected (I just left this weather in Jackson!) but it's my town, my people. There is really no place like home and it's great to be back