Not knowing

All this time not knowing
Where you are, where you're going

Hidden mostly, sometimes showing
Shining little, softly glowing

Behind the clouds that go on snowing
Swept off by wind that's ever blowing

And time keeps stretching, somehow slowing
Dull and dreary, nothing growing

But like the river ever flowing
Still we wait in hope, unknowing

Guest posting!!! Whaaaaat??

I know... I haven't blogged in forever. As usual... I'm disappointed in myself. You have no idea all the potential posts that have flitted through my mind and all the attempts I have even started. Buuuuut, it just hasn't happened.

HOWEVER

I am guest posting today over at Insight for Living's blog "LifeTrac"! I interned at Insight Canada and wrote a few posts for them, the first of which is up today. Head on over there and read it if you are interested; perhaps read a few more and explore their website.

Insight for Living Canada is an awesome ministry of Chuck Swindoll. The staff are an amazing group of people set on reaching people through the truth of God's Word. I encourage you to check them out. They have an American ministry as well for all my friends in the USA.

Tomorrow...

Well I had grand intentions of writing a few more detailed blog posts about my trip this summer but time, it would appear, has gotten away from me. Perhaps I will yet come back to the topic but for now, I am about to embark on a whole new adventure.

A train.
A big city.
A fast paced intensive course.

New people.
New places.
New challenges.

I've been waiting anxiously for this day to arrive and now it is only hours away. I am taking my first big step towards a career in journalism... I am tempted to dissolve into tears of anxiety; to drown in the dread of the unknown. But...

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7

I believe in God's promises. I can not thank Him enough for His provision and His peace and His protection. I am blessed beyond imagining. He has promised to guard my heart and mind in Christ and I believe He does and will continue to.

I know that He has lead me here. I know taking this course is my next step. Now I know I need to give God the little things that have me worrying. Because He is sovereign over them too!

I remember, on our trip this summer, being fascinated by the little things; the tiny details God has designed in creation. I marvel over the work of little caterpillars.

I stare in awe at the intricacy of a flower.

I study the tiny designs in the leaves.

God's glorious fingerprints are everywhere; the evidence of His care and precision and attention is all around me in the inanimate world. How much more will He give His care to the details of my life? Small things like getting a good sleep tonight, arriving at the train on time, finding parking, where I sit in class, who will sit beside me, who my professors are, and what they shall teach me...all this is in His hands and will follow according to His sovereign plan.

And so. Tomorrow is coming. No sense in worrying. I rest in Him. May His will be done, for His glory alone.

Would appreciate your prayers as I embark on this journey.

Strong

With cap and gown you are robed
The picture of beauty and success
Eyes bright and radiant with joy
And that sparkle only you possess

It’s surreal for me to watch
As you take to the stage
It feels like you’ve barely started
But here you are turning the high school page

I hope you are proud to be here today
For you have done so well, more than I can say

I rarely fail for words
But today it’s not easy
To form feelings and thoughts
And not come out just plain cheesy

But how am I supposed to tell
How proud and amazed
And happy and blessed
I am to be raised
With a sister so gracious
And honest and kind
And, I’ve said it before,
The best friend I could find

I am blessed beyond words Sis, to have you around
And I dread the coming year as you head out of town

But my dear, you are blessed
For God is your guide
He has plucked you up in His hand
And you are along for the ride
Look where He has brought you
For truly it was Him
Who gave you your passion, perseverance,
And that joy none can dim

I am excited to be here
To watch you and pray
That you follow His leading
And find peace in His way
Danae, you are strong
Because your peace is in Him
You know your true purpose
You can face both easy times and grim

And so as you pass on from high school
Don’t ever have fear
Just make God’s glory your center
And keep Him always near

graduation brings out the best in all of us :)

so many amazing girls! So proud of them all!

!

kinda love everyone's expressions

love these girls soooooo much!!

ten days

Ten days. I will be home in ten days.

I don't know if these tears that well up in my eyes come from joy and anticipation or if perhaps they testify to the ache in my heart when I think of leaving this place, these people, this task I have been blessed with. The past almost 18 months spent in Wyoming have impacted my life in so many ways and I hate to leave it. The last 5 1/2 months I have spent working on this book, serving at the school, have been such an incredible blessing. What a joy it has been to serve my Lord in this place. I have enjoyed each and every day with its specific trials and delights. I admit that I walk into this next chapter of life with much apprehension about my purpose. I never want to stop serving God, glorifying Him with all that I am and do and that's been so easy here. I know that I can do that wherever I am but as of yet, it's just not clear to me what I need to be doing upon my return. That's nerve-wracking to me, but really it's just another opportunity to trust my Father and His plans.

"And those who know Your name will put their trust in You,
For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You." (Psalm 9:10)

And so in these last ten days, the final pages of this amazing chapter God has written in my life, I will continue to serve, to love, to find joy in each moment, praising Him for this gift. I will let myself cry but I will not dwell in unhappiness. I will let my heart ache but with joy, storing up these memories as precious treasures. And I will look forward to the change, with a firm confidence in God's provision, with excitement for His plans for me, whatever they may be.

Ten days.

Eight thousand, seven hundred and sixty hours

 

One year later; it feels like more and yet sometimes just a day

And there's still nothing they can do, nothing they can say

Surely they can't think it's really any easier

Surely they don't think you've healed

Just because you don't cry as much

Just because you keep the pain concealed

Even you think you should move on

Even you know life is just unfair

But half of you is still in pieces

Because half of you is no longer there

Healing can't erase the ache

Time can't mend the scar

Even as you learn to live again

You're still finding who you are

One year later, you're still breathing, still getting up each day

You know it's only because God has been with you all the way

Human strength just isn't enough

Human strength cant get you through

But joy is found in Him alone

And comfort from He who carries you

Even though it's still a struggle

Even though the pain's not gone

His sufficiency is proven in your life

His mercies are new each dawn

Truly you are forever changed

Truly life will never be the same

But you know for sure how it will end

And you can keep that hope aflame

365 slow days. 52 long weeks. 1 impossible year.

You're really just 8760 hours closer to never shedding a tear

Prepare to Believe

It's impossible to really describe a walk through the creation museum. All the emotions you feel as you take step after step through it...it's hard to describe. It's like walking through our world and yet not - more like standing helplessly watching it revolve around you. It's like being a part of our history but not - more just watching from the outside. The exhibits come alive and it feels like it's you that is frozen in one state. I don't know how I appeared on the outside but my heart was in turmoil as the minutes turned to hours and I was drawn through the different scenes. Slowly I began to see. Slowly I began to understand. Slowly I saw our world, our history, through different eyes.

This is one of the very first exhibits you see and when I looked up at it and read the two quotes, it really hit me hard how pathetic we are. Descartes' famous line looks so weak next to God. With all our knowledge, our stacks of books, our years of searching, mankind is still so far from understanding. We are helpless to explain our purpose, our very existence. And yet we have such a high opinion of ourselves. We think we have accomplished so much. "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away" (James 4:14 emphasis added). In contrast God says"...I am the first and I am the last, and there is no God besides Me" (Isaiah 44:6); "...I, the Lord, am the maker of all things, stretching out the heavens by Myself, and spreading out the earth all alone" (Isaiah 44:24); I am the Lord, and there is no other; besides Me there is no God...that men may know from the rising to the setting of the sun that there is no one besides Me. I am the Lord, there is no other, the One forming light and creating darkness, causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the Lord who does all these" (Isaiah 45: 5-7)

The questions resonate deep inside because we've all asked at least on of them at some point in our lives. Taking the time to stand and take in the devastation that follows from the wrong starting point really helps you to appreciate the hope presented by the truth.

This exhibit displays some of the ways God brought His Word together

Satan has been attacking God's Word since the beginning, since the garden. He questions God's truthfulness, God's authority; he tries to get us to doubt and many times he succeeds. Just read through a few of the attacks on Scripture throughout history and you will be astounded at how the evil one has made this such a priority. After all, if we doubt God's Word, how can we trust the God who wrote it?

Reject God and our world falls apart. Walking through the hopelessness and destruction caused by a life in rebellion against God was depressing and humbling. We are truly, wandering in purposelessness without Christ.

After this dark room of sad reality, you leave our present world, walking through a dark tunnel filled with blinking stars and start right at the beginning...

Adam naming the animals in Eden

Pure innocent bliss. The garden is beautiful, the music is soothing. Everything is perfect, unique and good. I love this exhibit because it just shows the two amazing created beings, living in pure joy and yet above them the snake is watching, planning, waiting. Satan is never absent. He is ever ready to make a move and destroy.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:12)

The contrast from this quiet place of happiness and peace into the dark, bleak rooms following is an amazing portrayal of the devastation caused by sin. You begin to walk in a subtle descent as the perfect world dissolves into one of terror and violence. I shuddered inside as I walked past angry animals, Abel's murder, a room accosting me with images and sounds of fighting,and  bombs,and  floods, sickness, anger, jealousy...black black sin. My heart ached and I felt tears welling up.

And then the ark. The beautiful yet tragic story floods my heart with sadness but also hope. Righteous judgement is placed alongside unwarranted grace. The contrast in this miniature display is clear. I stood studying the tiny desperate people, startled at the detail added to each one. They were real human beings who rejected God and faced His wrath. And I can't help but think how it is really no different today. Are you on the ark, safe from destruction? Or clinging to the rocks, facing impending doom? 

And then...the new start. A new, clean world. The jagged mountains, a testimony of the past destruction, all around them, Noah and his family praise God among the flowers. What a devastating truth must have hit them as they walked out of the ark. The only human beings alive on the whole earth, nothing familiar, starting over by themselves.

Yet, it's sad to think that it wasn't long before mankind again rebelled collectively at Babel. And then imagine the grief of separation; the fear in all the confusion, the anger, the resentment, as man is scattered around the globe.

Will we ever get it?

The walk-thru exhibits end with a short but convicting film of the life of Christ, the Lamb of God, the Last Adam. And I walked out quiet. Contemplating all I had seen and read and felt. It was overwhelming. Not only amazingly well put together and detailed and beautiful, but if you let it, a walk through the museum will touch your heart and teach you truths in a way you've never known them before.

I really can't tell you any thing more. I mean, I could go on and on but really, you must visit this place yourself to understand. Even if you've grown up in a Christian home and think you know all the answers, all stories, all the true history...go. You will be glad you did. You will be encouraged in your faith, strengthened in the truth, and emboldened to share.

And even if you have never touched Bible, never stepped inside a church...go. Just check it out. What can it hurt? I must warn you though, if you go, prepare...to believe.

...and now it's over

ya, um, sorry about that. So basically I was WAY too busy on this fantastic trip to have time to blog about the busy happenings. So I shall do my best to give you the highlights without boring you to death or giving my hands cramps from typing.

So, where to begin? Well I guess I already wrote that part...okay so...the rest of the trip..."let me splain...no, there is too much, let me sum up."

Fourteen days
Almost 4000 miles
9 states
4 very different people crammed in one vehicle for hours on end...

And there you have it. Use your imagination :)

Jess and I still cheery early on in the trip

the clan of us who were at the Creation Museum

Riding a camel, no big deal :)

Front of the Creation Museum

Yay for the fantastic four!

Always finding new positions to sleep in the car

Okay, so I have made a decision here. I shall turn this trip into a series of posts written over the next few days, so keep coming back if you want to hear more :)

In this post I would like to share with you one part of our trip that is ironically opposite to the post title: our visit to New Leaf Publishing Group where we met with the editors/publisher of our book! Truly, this project is really just beginning!

We drove out to their quaint location in the middle of the Arkansas countryside. (I didn't even know we were going to Arkansas, I thought New Leaf was in Branson this whole time so that was an interesting surprise.) We were given the grand tour of the offices by Tim Dudley, the publisher, and then had a 2 hour meeting with the editors, marketing people, and graphics people. It was a surreal moment, let me tell you. Put yourself in my shoes if you can:

Nineteen years old, walking into a meeting with a major publishing company, holding in my hands a short manuscript that I've slaved over for 3 months, passionate about what it says but worried to hear the diagnosis on how well I've done. No idea what to expect, smiling, shaking hands, mostly silently listening to Pastor Don present our book, watching people's expressions, trying not to appear like the child I feel like inside, inadequate and foolish for thinking I know what I'm doing. I alternate from nervous, stomach in knots, fiddling insecurity to a calm resting in Jesus, confident that I have been working for Him and He is in control of this book so it doesn't matter what this editor says.

So the moment comes when Laura, the main editor, speaks up. And her words blow us all away: "You have fulfilled your goals and purposes in this manuscript." She goes on to say there are no holes and no glaring errors that she can see right away, just little suggestions she has. She shares excitedly with the whole room how she thinks our book is valuable because it not only brings all different areas of ancient man together as one picture but it has relevancy in today's world. Our book has purpose and it accomplishes what we want it to get across. I am barely comprehending her words as I sit there, looking around the room. We did it? It's good? There aren't any holes? I'm sitting there smiling but I don't really know what I am feeling. Craig, the other editor is smiling his face off and can't say anything bad about it. The marketing people are excited to hear all about what we have to say. Laura wants to hear about our whole experience writing it. Pastor Don is saying that he wants Laura and me to stay in contact, for me to the go-to person between our team and theirs and I'm sitting there trying to remember that I'm only 19 and this is all actually happening. I've just had a meeting with an editor, soon to be OUR editor, who loves our book and hasn't criticized my writing and...I'm ready to jump out of my skin with excitement, bewilderment, awe.

Truly, God has brought me to this place and I am so humbled by how He has used me. I never, in my wildest dreams, thought this would be happening, never mind at this age, without any schooling! This was so not in my plan but God definitely had a different plan and it's only in His power that it was accomplished. That He is using little me and the gifts He gave me to write something, to get this message out to people, is just too much for me to comprehend. I'm doing what I've always dreamed of doing: writing something of value that will be read and will make a difference, Lord willing. I have dreamed of writing for Jesus for so long that I can barely digest the fact that it is actually happening and before I'm even twenty! I am SO blessed by this experience, so honoured to be a tool in His hand, so excited to see what He does with this book, with our team, with the rest of my life.

So, just as an encouragement to you all: Keep dreaming. Keep giving your hopes and dreams to God. Live each day for Him; don't be afraid to follow His leading even if it doesn't seem logical or practical (or financially wise). He will provide for you if you follow His plan for your life. He is in control and can accomplish what He wants to be done. Sometimes I think we have been so ingrained by our culture that we have to do everything a certain way, in a certain order, a sequence of events, a checklist that must be fulfilled before you success can be reached. But God doesn't work that way. He is beyond time and money and the world. Just read His Word, and listen to the testimonies of those around you. He is working.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts" - Isaiah 55:8-9

The mind of a man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps - Proverbs 16:9

Many plans are in a man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand - Proverbs 19:21